


Saltwater Lungs

by ItsChaz



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Attempted Murder, Character Death, F/F, Fantasy, Feferi's voice is high-pitched because dolphins or something, Gore, Historical Fantasy, Mentions of Death, Mermaid Feferi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Supernatural Elements, Witch Trials, Witches, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-09-26 20:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9920066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsChaz/pseuds/ItsChaz
Summary: It’s all a misunderstanding, she’s not what they say she is, but that doesn’t stop the people of Alternia forcing her out of her house and into the cold, rainy night.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd, all mistakes are my own.  
> This is sorta, kinda, low-key inspired by Maya Kern’s How to Be a Mermaid, so if you haven’t read it before go check it out because it’s life.

> **Saltwater Lungs**

It wasn't new, this assumption, considering everything. Aradia's always been well aware of her family heritage, as is everyone else it seems. The Megido family is a famous one around this town and the stories have probably travelled to the surrounding ones as well. The Megidos had come to Alternia decades ago, with Aradia's great-great-great grandmother. Locals say that they just arrived out of the blue, setting up a fabric stop overnight. _The Handmaid_ is what is was called – a store that had been in the family until a couple of years before Aradia was born, when it was burnt down suddenly.   


No one came forward and no one was trialled. But that wasn't a surprise. 

 

Acts like that are common around Alternia (and everywhere else, too). It's not seen as the threat that it is but more like a warning - a reminder, a little sign to say "we're on to you, we know what you are", for whatever thing you're suspected of. It’s usually witchcraft or demonic possession. In the case of the Megidos, it’s witchcraft. 

 

Throughout the year's several generations of Megido have born and died in Alternia and all had lived in the same decrypted little log and straw house. And every single one of those deaths was murder (a witch trial, was the excuse). But Aradia was sure after five failed attempts at killing a Megido family witch that they would learn that they're wrong.  But they never do. Maybe they're thinking that one that they'll be right, that their doubts will become valid. Despite their targeting, no one really has anything against the Megidos – they had contributed a great deal to the town – but more like their paranoia and drive to finally be able to catch a witch

 

Aradia’s kin had seen every type of death the town knows – drowning, burning, hanging, being thrown off a cliff – but none of them had worked. Aradia knows (and probably most of the town knows too) that they’re not witches, but there’s still a small part of Alternia just believes that their methods are wrong (stronger witches, they say, they need different options) because witches are real: in the neighbouring town of Beforus they had caught a family of witches – the Maryam’s. They had been practising dark witchcraft and had taken many human sacrifices. The only reason they were caught was because they had become sloppy: every family from Beforus had a child go missing expect for theirs.

 

It doesn't take too much to be considered a son or daughter of the Devil. Even something as small as changing the way you style your hair your moving houses can set people off into a wild frenzy to try and prove that you’re evil. Aradia was once told a story by her mother about that “crazed Pyrope woman” that was suspected of witchcraft (“for who knows what reason,” she said with a slight smile) and the mass hysteria that followed. Their solution? Hot branding iron to her eyeballs. The story goes that she went blind afterwards and the reason was that the Devil’s presence was so dark and angry that it was too hard for her to see through.

 

She died a couple days later from infection. No one said anything but everyone went to the burial.            

 

So no, it wasn’t a surprise when the locals had literally banged down the door and smashed the windows with torches and pitchforks. It also wasn’t a surprise when Aradia was forced from her burning house and into the dark, cold night.

 

Her heart pounds in her chest and she’s barely able to hear the shouts of the angry Alternians over the blood rushing in her ears. Her hair and nightgown catches on stray branches, ripping it from the roots and tearing the soft cotton. She doesn’t look back, even as they gain on her – she couldn’t look back even if she wants to – but she also doesn’t pay too much attention to where she’s going either – she just runs. She just runs like hell.

 

No, it wasn’t really a surprise but Aradia hadn’t expected them to come for her so soon – wishing thinking, to be honest. But the time came and all she’s able to do is run for her life. The rocky trails beneath her feet cut the undersides and it takes her a moment to realise that her feet have started to bleed, little stones stuck between her toes. She wants to scream, God she wants to, but all the words are stuck in her stomach – her breath caught in her throat, words unable to get past.

 

They’re right behind her – she can feel the torches’ flames singe the tips of her hair and she swears she can smell her frying hair. But she continues to runs and they continue to chase her. It begins to rain – of course, it does – and the combination of the blood and the developing mud causes her to slip and fall but she quickly picks herself back up, mud caking the front of her nightgown, and starts to run again.

 

Pain shoots through her leg and she stumbles, even with the adrenaline coursing through her veins Aradia could tell that her she had twisted her ankle during the fall but that doesn’t stop her: she staggers her way through the mud and trees, bleeding, wet and limping. Her lungs are burning and even with rain pouring down Aradia’s mouth feels dry and clammy with sweat.

 

But she runs. She runs and runs and runs until suddenly – she can’t. She’s reached the end of the line. The trail she’s followed has stopped into a sudden drop – the weak, rocky underside cracking under Aradia’s newly added weight. Panting, she turns around to see the herd of townspeople approaching. The fires from their torches have extinguished under the rain but they’re still hanging onto them, along with their pitchforks and axes and whatever else they had managed to find before storming off into the night, hell bent on taking the witch.

                                                                                                                                                             

Aradia steps back – one, two, before her muddy foot slips off the end and she almost falls, more rocks dropping into nothing. Gulping, she looks around to see if there’s anywhere she can escape but nothing; there’s only forwards – into the fray – or backwards – jumping off the edge. Both would, inevitably, lead to death. The chants of the townspeople start to become clear: “kill the witch!”, “burn the witch!”, “get her! Don’t let her get away!” 

 

It only took a panicked second for Aradia to decide what she’s going to do. There’s only one option, really, and she’s accepted that. She knows that she’ll never, _ever_ survive if she lets them take her but she holds on to the lingering idea of maybe surviving if she were to jump. Breathing deeply she sends one last prayer to the heavens, to her family, and, with her arms outstretched, she falls.


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS  
> Mentions of gore, torture and death, but nothing too extreme. Tell me if anything needs to be added.

It's weird. This isn't how Aradia had pictured death - it’s... calmer, and warmer than she had thought it would be. Cosier. Maybe it's because she had embraced death from such a young age, knew it was going to come for her one way or another, which is fine; everyone is born to die but maybe her and her family more so than others.  But whatever she had thought before means nothing now that she's here - dead. Maybe this is God's way of saying that he's sorry, that she didn't deserve to die like this. She wonders if her family had felt the same when they passed. Probably. Aradia wonders why no one had intervened before - why God hasn't stepped in or her family hasn't given Alternia a sign. Maybe it's just because this is how it should be and you can't change fate. Or maybe God doesn't exist. Regardless, it doesn’t matter anymore because she’s here now and she just needs to accept it

Slowly, Aradia begins to take in her surroundings: pearl walls and golden accents. She's always been told in church and in school that heaven is beautiful and this place certainly does look beautiful. Heaven it is, then. She must have definitely been a good soul. Whatever she is lying on is soft, if not a little itchy, although that doesn't mean much because, compared to her old bed, anything could be considered comfortable. Outside everything looks dark, darker than anything ever should be but somehow that’s okay. The darkness is peaceful.

The air smells thick and salty around her, a little odd but a welcoming difference from the sooty, burnt scent from back home. The ground beneath her is rough and course, like dirt or sand, unlike the pillowy clouds she thought it would be. There’s a comforting feeling at the quiet stillness, periodicity broken with droplets of water hitting something – a pond? Lake? Ocean? Aradia doesn’t understand but then again nothing here seems like it should be making any.

Aradia sits up, a struggle on her sore arms, and she groans in pain. Everything hurts – especially her ankle – and her head is pounding. “Stop!” a sudden, high-pitched voice calls from… somewhere, it’s hard to tell, there’s so much echoing. “Stop,” it repeats quieter but still piercingly jarring, “don’t move, please. You’re hurt”.

Whoever, or whatever, that voice belongs to is right – she is hurt and trying to sit up isn’t helping. Besides, Aradia feels safe enough here to listen so she lies back down, her body thankful. More awake, Aradia starts to take in her surrounds properly. Along with the pearls and gold, there are sculptures and busts on marble pedestals, all in shiny golds and depicting beautiful men and woman with flowers in her hair and beards and tails of fish. Strange, to say the least, this place is like nothing that Aradia’s ever seen or heard of before.

Below her is, as she thought – sand, coarse and gritty and slightly irritating on her skin. Above her is a gorgeous painting showing deep, blue waters and richly coloured plants and flowers and more of those strange, tailed people. It’s honestly the most beautiful piece of artwork that Aradia’s ever seen in her life: framed in more gold and spanning across the entire roof of the room. Across from her are those pretty sea plants growing out what Aradia thinks is the pond? lake? ocean? and there’s moss and algae climbing up the pearl walls. Asides from that, she can’t see too much else, she can’t even find where that strange voice is coming from. “Who are you?” Aradia asks, “where are you?”

Something cold and wet reaches out – a hand, she can tell, but the webbing between the fingers is odd – and touches her ankle lightly. “I am here,” she says, “my name is Feferi. I found you”. Her hand starts to rub Aradia’s sore ankle lightly, comforting circler motions. “You fell near my queendom. It was… confusing, my people are scared. Many of us, even I, have not had pleasant interactions with your kind so I could not have taken you back to my palace, everyone is scared,” Feferi explains, “so I had to bring you here, it is one of the the only place you could breathe”.

“Your people?” Aradia says.

“Yes, I am from a place called Derse, my mother is the Queen there”. The patting stops for a moment before starting again and Feferi sighs, “I hope she never finds you”.

Aradia frowns, “why not?”

“She does not like your ki-” she starts, “she doesn’t like humans. They’ve harmed us too much. She would not like you but I do not think she would hurt you; you are no threat, especially like this”. The comment comes across as somewhat insulting but Aradia just chalks it up to the way that Feferi says things and that wasn’t her intention, especially considering how she continues to rub her leg comfortingly.

“Why don’t you want to hurt me?”

Feferi is silent for a moment, and there’s a loud splashing sound from around where Feferi is but Aradia has no idea what the sound came from. “I do not like how she runs the Derse – she is very mean and treats the citizens poorly”. Aradia can hear the sadness in her voice and decides to drop the subject, not wanting to upset Feferi, especially when she doesn’t know who or what she is. She doesn’t want to go from angering everyone back in Alternia to angering a stranger from an unknown… what? Species?

“You said ‘my kind’, what does that mean?”

A laugh, ear piercing and shrill rings out – it’s almost unbearably sharp for Aradia’s ears but the echoing of the cave helps, “because stupid,” Feferi says, giggling, sharp nails scratching lightly on her ankle, almost sinister, “I’m a mermaid”.

Aradia’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, “a what?”

“A mermaid,” Feferi repeats, slower, “do you see that painting up there, on the roof? They are merpeople. There are mermen and mermaids – I am a mermaid”. There’s another splashing sound, Aradia guesses it’s Feferi’s tail moving, and, despite not knowing the meaning, it feels somewhat playful – like a child kicking their feet.

“I’ve never heard of you”.

“We tend to stay away from humans,” Feferi says, the ankle rubbing ceasing for a moment but then coming back – Feferi’s hand wetter than before, “they hunt us down, for our flesh and scales”.

“Your what? Why?”

The happy splashing stops, “our scales are very pretty; humans like to take them to make pretty things out of them. And our flesh… there is a legend that eating a mermaid’s flesh brings you immortality. I believe they’re called… shaman? They are bad people, awful”.

“Is it true?” Aradia asks, “would it really make you immortal?”

There’s a pause and Aradia’s worried that she’s overstepped a boundary, “yes,” Feferi is silence for a moment and the patting stops, “how are you feeling? Are you in much pain?”

Oh – Aradia forgot about that. She moves around a bit, moving her arms around and this is the first time she’s noticed the cuts and bruises up and down her arms and she assumes they’re all over her body too. They’re a dull aching there but not as bad as it previously was. “A little,” she replies.

Feferi removes her hand, “come,” she says, “but be careful”.

Aradia starts to sit up again and it’s not as painful as last time though the ache is in the rest of her body and she can see the cuts on her knees and legs, too. She hobbles over on uneven legs – her twisted one easier to walk on than the other surprisingly.  She didn’t have to walk very far, only a few steps, and she could have just as easily knee-walked over with less effort, although it might not have gone so well on her busted up knees.

The pond? lake? ocean? turns out to a little pond full of glittering water, surrounded by rocks and more of those colourful plants and flowers. It’s pretty, gorgeous there’s moonlight streaming in from a hole in the roof of the cave. It’s shocking – how can it still be night time? How long has she been out for? Aradia doesn’t know. There’s a gleam coming off the pond, almost like it’s sparkling in the moonlight like it’s filled with hundreds of little diamonds. It’s enticing, Aradia wants to – needs to – just submerge herself in it. She doesn’t think she’s seen a more beautiful scene.

The next thing she sees is something large and glittering, a shiny tail sticking up from the water. A stunning fuchsia colour that flickers with iridescent gold with every flick; the fin large and strong and it almost demands worship – definitely a tail for a princess. The next thing she sees is hair, big and billowing, with flowers of varying shades of pink braided into it like the mermaids in the painting but somehow better just because it’s her. It’s the type of air she carries – the aura she has.

And her face – oh. Her eyes are big and golden, shining unnecessary bright under the dim light; must be a mermaid thing. From what Aradia sees Feferi’s dark skin is covered head to toe in little shimmery spots the same fuchsia colour as her tail, flowing faintly and casting a pink glow around her. She pretty, gorgeous even, almost so unnervingly gorgeous that it doesn’t seem humanly possible. But, then again, there’s nothing human about her and Aradia’s reminded by that when she sees those teeth. Sharp and strong, they’re absolutely disturbing, especially teamed with the sickly sweet smile she’s casting – it shouldn’t be so scaring, she knows this, because Feferi’s demonstrated that she’s no threat but Aradia can’t help but feel a little threatened by the thoughts of why her teeth are so sharp. “You’re very beautiful,” Aradia says before she can stop herself.

Feferi’s smile grows extra wide, stretching from ear to ear and only looking creepier, “thank you,” she says, “you are very beautiful too”. She reaches out and takes Aradia’s hands and gently draws her closer and Aradia feels her face brighten up a little, “you need to come into the pool. Come, be gentle, the water will help”. It’s a little awkward to clamber over the rocks but she manages. Feferi holds her up, one hand around her waist and one still holding her hand. “Do you know what this place is?” she asks, although Aradia thinks she already knows she doesn’t.

“No,” she says regardless.

“This is the Moon Pool. It’s a place for healing. Do you remember when I was touching your ankle? I was using the water from the pool to heal it. Now that your ankle is better we will heal the rest of you,” she explains. The water is nice and cool against her skin and there are little crystals in here.

“What are the crystals for?”

“Those are special healing crystals,” Feferi explains, “they are blessed by the High Priestess Lalonde. We bring our wounded warriors here to get heal and get better, and now I bring you. I am sorry if this is uncomfortable for you but this is the best I can do – there are not very many places in Derse for a human”.

Aradia smiles, “it’s alright. Thanks, for this. I really appreciate it”.

Since Feferi is already smiling so big and bright that can’t change but her eyes become brighter and more alive, “it is alright,” she replies.

They stay like that for a little while – Aradia treading the water with Feferi told her up. Occasionally Feferi does have to duck underneath the water to keep her gills wet. As the magical water heals her it also washes the blood and dirt off of her and out of her hair. All the gunk just washes away and swirls in with the water, disappearing as if it was never there. It’s magical – everything here is. Just a few hours ago Aradia had no idea any of this existed and now here she is: surrounded by it all – above, below, in front of her, touching her. She feels safe. Safer than she’s ever been. “It’s nice here,” she says, a soft, gentle whisper.

“Stay here,” Feferi says, equally quiet.

“I can’t stay here,” Aradia says, “but I can’t leave either”.

“What do you mean?”

“Here isn’t… I can’t stay here; I’m a human – this place doesn’t have what I need to survive, but I worry about going home – it’s not safe there for me anymore. There’s nowhere I belong”.

“We can find somewhere, you and I,” Feferi says, “I do not like it here either. We can find somewhere else where we do belong”.

Tears prickle in the corner of Aradia’s eyes – she’s never felt so wanted, not since the last of her family was taken from her and, by the way she speaks and the emotions in her voice, Feferi knows exactly how that feels. Aradia wonders what type of woman Feferi’s mother is – if she’s much of a mother at all. Aradia doesn’t think that the Queen’s dislike extends just to humans; she can only imagine what kind of dictatorship she runs over her queendom, over her own daughter. Or the hateful actions or spiteful words her people do or say to her just from being her mother’s daughter. “Sure,” Aradia says, smile through rolling tears that she didn’t realise started to fall, “I’d like that”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross-posted on my FF.N, same name as here.


	3. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild body horror/gore, murder, and character death. Tell me if anything else needs to be added.

Maybe they're putting it off, delaying the inevitable, but they stay in the Moon Pool long after Feferi said she was safe to go, swapping nonsense stories about their childhoods and sharing silly little facts about themselves, like how merpeople eat their food raw ("it is weird that human have to… what's the word? Oh, yes cook their meals before eating) or Aradia's allergy to cheese ("but not any other type of dairy") as if it'll mean anything in the future. As if they'll make it out of this – whatever it is – alive. They're being ridiculous, Aradia knows this and she has a feeling that Feferi feels the same too from the look in her eyes. They're just a couple of stupid kids doing god knows what and going god knows where.

Eventually, they do decide to leave the Moon Pool. Swimming alongside Feferi is hard, Aradia notices – her strong tail powering her through the water faster than Aradia's legs can manage. Aradia ends up giving up and just lets Feferi drag her through the water, towards the surface. While swimming Feferi stops suddenly and points off into the distance saying, "look, that is Derse".

It's beautiful, even more so than the Moon Pool – the towers made from more pearls and gold and arches are made from colourful shells and jewels. Aradia seen a castle before, there's one on in the forest behind her house back in Alternia but it's nowhere near as nice as this one. "It is beautiful, is it not?" she asks even though Aradia can only nod in reply – that's another thing Feferi finds weird about people – and she can sense an unspoken feeling of _I do not want to leave_.

They don't stay too long after that.

Feferi takes them just outside of Alternia, as close as she feels comfortable around humans. She keeps her tail down, low in the water, so no one can see the shiny scales if they catch light. Aradia doesn't bother to remind her that no one in Alternia knows what merpeople are, she knows paranoia more the most. She doesn't know how believable a story like a _witch and half-fish/half-mermaid found together, probably planning to commit mass genocide_ would travel but it's not exactly something she wants to risk either, she supposes.

They just sit there together in a near comfortable silence.

"Where is it that you live?" Feferi asks, breaking the silence first. She's watching little ripple form in the water as she dips her finger in.

Looking off in the distance, in the direction she thinks her home is – was – she notices a thick plume of dark smoke. How she didn't notice that when they first surfaced, Aradia doesn't know. "There," she says, pointing at the smoke.

Feferi scrunches her nose up, "you live in a volcano?"

Aradia's frowns, eyebrows scrunching up, confused. Volcanos? Are there even such things as underwater volcanos? She decides to believe so without asking – if underwater societies and half-fish people. "No, a house. I lived in a house before it was burnt down".

"Oh," is all she says and they go back to silence. Feferi crooks her an index finger with a friendly smile on her face. The same way Aradia's seen little kids from back home beckon over stray dogs. From what seemed like nowhere appeared a little pink octopus. Feferi stretches her hands over to the octopus, grasping its tentacle-like someone would shake a hand. It's strange, incredibly and undeniably strange but somehow not the weirdest thing she's seen in the past day.

Without warning, Feferi starts making a strange sound, almost like a glub – _glubglubglubglub_ – and the octopus _glubglub_ 's right back. It's like their having a conversation that Aradia doesn't understand. It's still not the weirdest thing she's seen. After a string of variously pitched glubs, Feferi laughs, bright and loud. Her tail is high and proud in the air again as if she's forgotten about her earlier fear. "Gl'bgolyb says that she thinks that you look weird because you have two sets of arms".

Aradia doesn't bother to point out the fact that the octopus - _Gl'bgolyb_ – has more sets of arms than she does, "they're called legs," she says, "and _Gl'bgolyb_? It has a name?"

Feferi giggles and repeats the word 'legs' to herself a couple of times, a cute little quirk Aradia's noticed she has whenever she wants to remember something. Within seconds the bright smile disappears and she suddenly looks serious, "and of course she has a name," Feferi says, her smile suddenly back, "everyone has a name". She right, Aradia supposes. And it's still not the weirdest thing she's witnessed. "I think you should get going soon".

"Do you think?" she asks, hoping she doesn't sound as dejected as she feels.

"Yes, the sun is starting to go away," Feferi says and Aradia laughs – _the sun's starting to go away_ – "Gl'bgolyb and I will be here when you get back". Gl'bgolyb glubs something and Feferi responds in turn, nodding wildly and smiling brightly but doesn't bother to tell Aradia whatever it was.

"Yeah, alright," Aradia says, picking herself up from the ground. Her legs are a little wobbly from either disuse or exhaustion from trying – and failing – to swim, but she doesn't really know which one. Either way, they don't hurt too much so it's not too much of a big deal. There are more important things for her to worry about right now. She waves goodbye to Feferi only to get a wave back from both Feferi – a bright smile and a twinkle of fingers – and Gl'bgolyb – a wild wiggle of two of the front-most tentacles.

She leaves, trying to push away the hesitation that's starting to set in. Aradia wanders mostly, not completely lost but also not entirely sure where she's going, but, judging from where the smoke looks like it's coming from, she's heading in the right direction.

The grassy path, barely patchy from the lack of foot traffic, is soft and plush underneath her feet – it's a nice change from the pointy rocks and dirt from last night. The trees look all the same, thick trunks and vibrant green leaves. The whole walk she only runs into one other person – an old man with a thick, grey beard parked on a big rock, on looking some grazing donkeys that look as malnourished as he does. He tips his straw hat and smiles, Aradia smiling back.

Covered in dirt, mud and still damp with water she wonders what she looks like to him.

A dull ache starts to take over Aradia's head, all the overstimulation from the buzzing cicadas and singing birds. Even the wind, from leaving the stillness of the Moon Pool, is becoming too much.

Eventually, _suddenly_ , it all stops. The birds stop singing and it's almost like the cicadas didn't exist. Even the gentle winds have come to a stop. She's made it to Alternia, not too far from the church. She knows where she is, her home on the other side of town from the church.

It takes her a moment to register how silent the silence is – an almost deafening silence. There's no one milling around the centre of town, none of the vendors are lining the streets. No children with their sticks and hoops and homemade skipping rope. It's strange, Aradia's never seen Alternia so quiet.

Quick and quiet, taking brief moments to check for movement inside houses Aradia runs through the town square, ducking and weaving between the other houses and trying to stay in the shadows. No one notices her and all the curtains stay drawn.

The smell of burnt paper and smoke is strong in the air, burning Aradia's eyes and nose. It's probably the reason no one else is out right now, the stench is too strong to bare. Everything feels like charcoal and falls apart beneath hands and feet. Lifting something she thinks used to be a door to her wardrobe she notices something, the only thing to have survived the fire. A sign, if there's ever going to be one.

It was made by her grandmother, not too long before she was burnt at the stake. It was a quilt made entirely from leftover pieces of different types of fabrics, all miss-matched and sewed together to create them – her great-grandmother, her grandmother, her mother, her sister and herself. The backside of it made entirely from sheepskin, great for winter, but not so much now in the warmer weather. Aradia had stored it in a fabric bag underneath her bed, like every year whenever summer started to come around again. Somehow, even with the woven rug underneath it charred black, the quilt itself like nothing had ever happened to it.

Aradia shoves it up underneath the thin ribbon that she usually leaves loosely tied for prettiness points and ties it tightly to hold it in place. Starting to head back, Aradia thinks of just one more place she wants to go before leaving – the cemetery. Part of her with a morbid fascination wants to see if they've dug a hole for her already, ready to bury a body that they'll never find. They don't usually, waiting to see if the 'witch' is actually dead before doing that, once they had to wait a month before the body of Jane Crocker had washed up, mostly decomposed and covered in leeches with a nasty gash to the forehead.

The cemetery sits at the back of the church. The whole plot of land is becoming overcrowded and they're starting to bury people in the same grave. Thankfully – or maybe not so – the graves for the suspected-to-be-witches-but-later-just-plain-murdered are segregated from the others, enclosed in an iron fence, but the space in the Witch Graveyard – as the wooden sign staked into the ground says – isn't so crowded, enough to bury around twelve more not-witches before running into the same problem.

Aradia sneaks quietly past the church and through the cemetery. Father Vantas lives on the other side of the church, in a little rickety shed-turned-house and has the tendency to wander through the graves. Especially at night because he's a strange man. Some say he's a vampire but that's impossible because there are crosses all around the church and everyone knows that vampires don't like crosses.

The gate to the Witch Graveyard creaks as she ducks inside, not bothering to those it behind her. Most of them are simple wooden crosses while some are more of a more elaborate stone thing, they're nice but not as nice as the ones in the normal part of the graveyard. All of them decorated with different coloured flowers, placed there by Father Vantas, something about not _wanting them to make the place too ugly_. Aradia makes a beeline to her family and kneels in front of her mother.

While it isn't a hole, there's a space between her sister and another grave – belonging to a girl named Jade Harley. The name meaning something in the back of Aradia's mind – where Aradia knows that that's where they'd put her. The foresight to leave the gap for her causes sickness to bubble up in her stomach. Even after the last three failures they still – and for such a long time – harboured this stupid idea. Maybe there's a thought of _wanting a full collection_ , a lot of these graves are from families, much like Aradia's own. Sometimes she feels like Alternia's just a large hunting ground, some of them the hunters and some of them the prey and no one really know who's who until it's too late.

She doesn't know that she's crying until she feels the tears start to fall and land on her hands. It's not sadness that she's feeling, not really. It's anger. A wet, emotional sort of thing, unlike the usual dry anger, all firm words and harsh eyes. She pounds a fist into the hard ground in front of her, not stopping until her knuckles are red and bleeding in some places. Aradia cradles the damaged hand against her chest, the tears that are still rolling down her cheeks hit the scrapped flesh and it stings a little. She only just registers the pain through the angry haze clouding her brain.

Time passes, how long Aradia doesn't know – not long though, she hopes – and she just sits there, sometimes reaches out to run her fingers over the names, fingers tracing the lettering of all three crosses. At one point, she gets a splinter in her index finger from the terrible woodsmanship. It looks large and painful but when she pulls it out, she feels nothing.

Eventually, she thinks it's time to go and starts to stand. Looking down at the empty space, sandwiched between _Damara Megido_ and _Jade Harley_ , Aradia starts to untie the bow around her waist, just enough to slip the quilt out from underneath. Taking two of the comers, she unfolds it and shakes it out, like how she does when it becomes chiller and is ready to put it on the bed, and lays it down on the ground.

Looking at the family quilt in the space where she should be resting feels like one final act of defiance before she leaves Alternia forever and, hopefully, to be able to forget about it and never have anything to do with it again. She leaves it there to say something like _you didn't kill me but as far as you should be concerned, I'm dead_.

Ready to head back, Aradia surveys the scene, double checking before darting back behind the safety of a nearby house. Panicking, Aradia just runs for it, cutting across the town square, not bothering with the safety of the house's shadows. If anyone sees her they don't come out armed to the teeth with pitchforks and torches.

The second she feels the plush grass underneath her feet again, she ducks behind the nearest tree to catcher breath, chest heaving and the ribbon around her lungs not letting her breath so easy. At least the hardest part is out of the way. She hopes anyway. But, realistically, that hope is pointless. As far as she knows, Feferi has nowhere to take them and she sure as hell doesn't know anywhere either. Even finding themselves somewhere to stay would be near impossible – they both need different things and there's no way Aradia could swim as far or as long Feferi could and there's absolutely no way Feferi can leave the water.

But, at the same time, she has nothing else to lose. Her mother had always told her to do what she thinks is right. Maybe this isn't right but is there _really_ a wrong answer, either. If she goes out now – the heavy feeling in the depths of her stomach, bubbling and almost choking her with anxiety is telling her that she will – she feels like her family would be proud of her to last this long. To reclaim her life back. To try and rebuild her life again.

It's darker under the foliage of the tree than it was back out there in the open, the leaves blocking a lot of the moonlight. She wasn't even gone that long and yet it looks like she had been hours. The man who had the donkeys was gone, the tracks left behind by their hooves shows that they went down a different path, one less travelled than this one.

Aradia wonders if he'll remember her. Probably not.

As promised Feferi and Gl'bgolyb are exactly where they were when she left, floating lazily in the water and glubbing about whatever things people – and marine life, too, apparently – talk about. Her smile when she sees Aradia is as bright as the shine of the moonlight hitting her hair. Aradia lifts her hand to wave back, smiling. She wonders if she looks like she's been crying. By the softening expression on Feferi's face, she guesses she does. "How did it go?" she asks.

"Not dead," is all Aradia says in reply.

Reaching out, Feferi takes the sore hand in hers, placing a light, barely there, kiss on the bloodied knuckles. It reminds her of when she was little and her mother would kiss her scrapped knee whenever she tripped over. "Not dead," she agrees and, for whatever reason, reaches out and takes the other hand to kiss, too.

"It doesn't hurt, I can't feel anything".

"It looks very painful".

"It's fine, Fef, really. I've had worse before". She doesn't bother to say _what_ has been the worst because, honestly, she doesn't think she needs to.

Changing the subject, Feferi asks, "did you find anything?"

"Yeah, but," Aradia replies when suddenly –

Everything stops. Pieces of actions happen, one at a time like the flipbook Damara had made for her once when she was five. A sharp _whooshing_ sound, the furious flapping of the birds escaping from the trees, ear piercing _no_! coming from Feferi. It takes a moment for Aradia to really notice, to put all the pieces together – she can see the red seeping through the white of her nightgown and the pain flooding through her body. She wants to scream but she can't, the only sound she can make is a pathetic gurgling groan. Slowly everything begins to fade and by the end of it – barely seconds, although it feels like hours – when she can't see anything and the smell of blood is so thick in the air it's nauseating, everything gives out and darkness takes over.

There's a sense of relief that washes over Aradia, even as she lays there, completely lifeless. A soft caress of comforting warmth, like sitting in front of a fire, runs itself over her shoulders. It almost feels like hands, like fingers, expect longer; tendrils of safety and love running themselves over her body, carding through her hair. It reminds her of her family; of her mother brushing her hair, of grandmother wrapping a blanket around her shoulders when she was sick, of Damara tickling her until she had screamed and laughed herself hoarse.

She was always raised to believe death is comforting and shouldn't be feared and now that she's faced with it, Aradia wonders that maybe her family knew more than what she thought they did.

Immediately throwing herself over Aradia the best she can without beaching herself, Feferi tries to protect her from another attack. In the distance, in the trees, Feferi can make out a human with some sort of weapon running away. She's surprised that he didn't notice her ( _or maybe they didn't care_ ). Forgetting about the stranger, she turns her attention back to Aradia. There's something sticking out from her back – it looks like a spear, but smaller. She's seen those things before, humans use them frequently in battle. Dersites have been trying to replicate these weapons – called arrows, she believes – but they didn't seem to work too well underwater.

Panic and confusion sets in. She has no idea what do it. Her first thought is to remove the arrow but she isn't sure she would be able to, although she can't just it in there either. "I am so sorry. This will be painful," Feferi says as she manoeuvres Aradia's body so she's lying mostly out of the water flat on her front. It looks easier to ease the arrow out the way it came in, the feathery bits at the end looking harder to ease back through.

" _Maybe you should go home_ ," Gl'bgolyb suggests.

"No," Feferi says, forceful, "I cannot do that". Giving a tug on the arrow it moves a little, Aradia doesn't move or even made a sound. Feferi gives a calming, shaky breath, "I cannot do that," she repeats softer, "I had made her a promise. I have to keep it". Pulling the arrow again harder – like shells from rocks, she thinks – it slips through Aradia's body and out with a disgusting sound. It makes Feferi feel sick. She tosses the arrow aside and pulls Aradia into her arms. The water around them starting turning a pinkish shade. In any other situation, Feferi would say something about how pretty the colour was. But not now. She can't even think of _words_ right now.

Diving back underneath the water is harder with something – someone – in her arms is hard. But she manages. She has to. She swims around aimlessly, almost in a circle, going deeper and deeper underwater. It's a bit dangerous going so far under when Aradia can't breathe, but right now Feferi can only think about doing one thing and that's getting Aradia back to the Moon Pool. It's risky, going back there, but she needs to. Aradia needs her to. Maybe she could – or better yet, _should_ – take her to see the High Priestess Lalonde. Her healing magics would be a better than the healing waters of the Moon Pool. Quicker, more effective.

And that's what Aradia needs. But she can't see the priestess with Aradia – with a _human_. There's no way that that'll go down well. It'll cause mass hysteria and war. Feferi will be exiled or locked up. Maybe even sentenced to death. She wouldn't put it past her mother to have her executed to prove a point to everyone else in Derse about what happens when you go against her orders.

Gl'bgolyb is swimming beside her, talking a hundred miles an hour about god knows what. Nothing is really making sense and it's all in one ear and out the other. Feferi continues to swim, a little hard without the use of her arms to help propel herself forward but she tries. Gl'bgolyb struggles to keep up with the speed, slowly slipping further and further behind. Feferi can't stop, not now. She has to get them to the Moon Pool to heal Aradia's wound and so she can breathe. "It will be okay," she says to the still body in her arms, "everything will be okay". She's not too sure who she's trying to stay it to – Aradia or herself. A calming mantra of _it'll be okay_ replays in her head over and over again.

She's on high alert the entire time. Not only is there the protentional danger of Dersites of noticing her with a human but there's still the added threat of predtors. Sharks don't often attack merpeople in groups but out here – with no free arms or no weapons or help expect for Gl'bglyb whose still lagging behind – she's a sitting duck. _It'llbeokayit'llbeokayit'llbeokay_. Eventaully Derse and the Moon Pool comes into sight. Guards protecting the enterence arch of Derse and random citzens going about their day as if there's nothing the matter. They're completely oblivious. It's a weird thing to consider: their princess is trying to save and protect a human and _they have no idea that it's happening_.

Hightailing it to the Moon Pool, she quickly enters through the small openning in the rocks, quickly breaking the surface and propping Aradia up against the side of the pool. She's pale and cold. Cupping a hand, holding Aradia up with the other, she pours and massages the healing water into the every little cut and scrape she can find; the arrow wound submurged beneatht the water. "Please," she pleads, "wake up".

There's already a part in her, somewhere deeper down, that has realised that she won't be waking up. Still, there's another part of her, a large, more dominant part, that puts enough faith into whatever god or goddess that is up there to make everything okay again.

"I have somewhere for us," Feferi lies, voice catching as she tightens her grip on Aradia's slumping body, the little cuts not even getting better, "an island and it is very beautiful. You can name it, even. It will just be you, Gl'bgolyb and I. Oh, it will be wonderful. All you have to do is wake up". She's muttering complete nonsense by Gl'bgolyb finally swims inside the Moon Pool.

She's brought out of her erratic state when Gl'bgolyb places a gentle tentacle on her arm and says, " _I don't think that will work_ ". Gl'bgolyb is right. There's never been a known case of the Moon Pool to bring any warriors back from the dead, and the water was to heal merpeople, their genetics and needs different than that of a human. If the water can't bring back a merperson there's no way it could bring back a human. It was even a surprise when the water helped Aradia when she had first fallen into the water, when her leg was hurt.

"What can I do?" Feferi asks.

" _I don't think there is anything that you can_ ".

"There has to be _something_ ".

" _Feferi_ ".

"Please," she begs, bows her head, pressing it against Aradia's neck. It's cold. Inhumanly cold. She's freezing, Feferi can feel it in her own bones. She'd swam in colder waters of the ocean but, for whatever reason, this shakes her body deeper. Almost like the very feeling is penetrating her bones, her nerves, the very core of her soul, her _everything_. It's so freezing that it's starting to burn.

She starts to scream.

It's loud, ear bleeding, and painful. It rips deep from inside her chest, throat burning as it comes up. It echoes around the entire cavern of the Moon Pool, even a few loose rocks from the side of it shaking and falling free. Gl'bgolyb escapes from the Moon Pool – octopuses might be deaf, and she might not hear Feferi's screaming sobs, but she can feel the vibrations and see the rocks shaking loose. Through the intelligible sobbing, there's the faint sounds of _I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry_.

Maybe the apologising is necessary, maybe it isn't. Feferi hadn't done anything wrong, not really, but she hadn't done everything right by Aradia either, in some senses. Sure, she had saved her at the beginning, but now, was it worth it, looking back? Was it worth prolonging Aradia's life those few extra hours, to give her that extra hope that everything would be okay in the end. But again, maybe Aradia didn't have too much hope anyway. Still, was it better, was it worth it? Did Aradia placed too much trust in Feferi; did Feferi place too much trust in herself? But surely it must have been better to be able to take her last breaths with her hand in Feferi's.

But, regardless of that now, it's too much to do much more. She could see the High Priestess Lalonde and ask for something to help, anything – a potion, a spell – say that it's royal business and Lalonde can't know about, but no, she won't. There's something _wrong_ about doing that.

She's gone, and that's that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also posted on my FF.N, same name as here.


End file.
